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Production showed multi-second windows where every response — routes, RSC payloads, static assets — waited together while handler durations stayed under half a second: the process stalled, and nothing route-shaped could name it. A self-rescheduling tick now records how late it fires; a tick past the stall threshold emits its own event_loop_stall background event, and every wide event carries the recent worst lag so the first request finishing after a stall is annotated with it. Measured via a timeout chain rather than perf_hooks.monitorEventLoopDelay — the histogram's sampling timer races a sibling read-and-reset interval in the same timers phase and the stall sample can vanish into the reset window.