diff --git a/src/app/layout.tsx b/src/app/layout.tsx
index 2e41e3b20..ad5c734a4 100644
--- a/src/app/layout.tsx
+++ b/src/app/layout.tsx
@@ -8,6 +8,7 @@ import "./globals.css";
 import { Providers } from "@/components/providers";
 import { AuthShell } from "@/components/layout/auth-shell";
 import { MonitoringBootstrap } from "@/components/monitoring/bootstrap";
+import { getPublicMonitoringSettings } from "@/lib/monitoring-settings";
 import { WebVitalsReporter } from "@/components/monitoring/web-vitals-reporter";
 import { resolveInitialLocale } from "@/lib/i18n/resolve-initial-locale";
 import { isKeyMismatch } from "@/lib/boot/key-mismatch-state";
@@ -86,7 +87,12 @@ export default async function RootLayout({
       ? ((await headers()).get("x-nonce") ?? undefined)
       : undefined;
 
-  const initialLocale = await resolveInitialLocale();
+  // The monitoring switches ride the document render instead of a request
+  // from every page load; the key-mismatch page reads no data.
+  const [initialLocale, monitoring] = await Promise.all([
+    resolveInitialLocale(),
+    isKeyMismatch() ? null : getPublicMonitoringSettings(),
+  ]);
 
   return (
     <html lang={initialLocale} suppressHydrationWarning>
@@ -139,7 +145,15 @@ export default async function RootLayout({
           <KeyMismatchPage locale={initialLocale} />
         ) : (
           <Providers initialLocale={initialLocale}>
-            <MonitoringBootstrap />
+            <MonitoringBootstrap
+              settings={
+                monitoring && {
+                  umamiEnabled: monitoring.umamiEnabled,
+                  umamiWebsiteId: monitoring.umamiWebsiteId,
+                  glitchtipEnabled: monitoring.glitchtipEnabled,
+                }
+              }
+            />
             <WebVitalsReporter />
             {/* `DEMO_MODE` is a server-only env var; the proxy uses it to
               block mutations. Resolve it here (server component) and
diff --git a/src/components/monitoring/__tests__/bootstrap.test.tsx b/src/components/monitoring/__tests__/bootstrap.test.tsx
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..e0a8c8fdb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/components/monitoring/__tests__/bootstrap.test.tsx
@@ -0,0 +1,49 @@
+import { describe, expect, it, vi } from "vitest";
+import { renderToStaticMarkup } from "react-dom/server";
+
+/**
+ * The monitoring switches come from the root layout's render, not from a
+ * request every page load sent to `/api/monitoring/settings` for three
+ * instance-wide values. The first render already mounts what they turn on.
+ */
+
+const apiGet = vi.fn();
+vi.mock("@/lib/api/api-fetch", () => ({
+  apiGet: (...args: unknown[]) => apiGet(...args),
+}));
+vi.mock("@/components/monitoring/umami-script", () => ({
+  UmamiScript: (props: { enabled: boolean; websiteId: string | null }) => (
+    <i data-umami={`${props.enabled}:${props.websiteId}`} />
+  ),
+}));
+vi.mock("@/components/monitoring/glitchtip-reporter", () => ({
+  GlitchtipReporter: (props: { enabled: boolean }) => (
+    <i data-glitchtip={String(props.enabled)} />
+  ),
+}));
+
+import { MonitoringBootstrap } from "../bootstrap";
+
+describe("MonitoringBootstrap", () => {
+  it("mounts what the layout's switches turn on, without asking the server", () => {
+    const html = renderToStaticMarkup(
+      <MonitoringBootstrap
+        settings={{
+          umamiEnabled: true,
+          umamiWebsiteId: "site-1",
+          glitchtipEnabled: true,
+        }}
+      />,
+    );
+
+    expect(html).toContain('data-umami="true:site-1"');
+    expect(html).toContain('data-glitchtip="true"');
+    expect(apiGet).not.toHaveBeenCalled();
+  });
+
+  it("mounts nothing without settings", () => {
+    expect(renderToStaticMarkup(<MonitoringBootstrap settings={null} />)).toBe(
+      "",
+    );
+  });
+});
diff --git a/src/components/monitoring/bootstrap.tsx b/src/components/monitoring/bootstrap.tsx
index 0598dcff5..1f6c790ae 100644
--- a/src/components/monitoring/bootstrap.tsx
+++ b/src/components/monitoring/bootstrap.tsx
@@ -1,43 +1,21 @@
-"use client";
-
-import { useEffect, useState } from "react";
 import { UmamiScript } from "@/components/monitoring/umami-script";
 import { GlitchtipReporter } from "@/components/monitoring/glitchtip-reporter";
-import { apiGet } from "@/lib/api/api-fetch";
-
-interface MonitoringSettings {
-  umamiEnabled: boolean;
-  umamiWebsiteId: string | null;
-  glitchtipEnabled: boolean;
-}
-
-export function MonitoringBootstrap() {
-  const [settings, setSettings] = useState<MonitoringSettings | null>(null);
-
-  useEffect(() => {
-    let active = true;
-
-    apiGet<MonitoringSettings | undefined>("/api/monitoring/settings", {
-      cache: "no-store",
-    })
-      .then((data) => {
-        if (!active || !data) return;
-        setSettings(data);
-      })
-      .catch(() => {
-        if (!active) return;
-        setSettings({
-          umamiEnabled: false,
-          umamiWebsiteId: null,
-          glitchtipEnabled: false,
-        });
-      });
-
-    return () => {
-      active = false;
-    };
-  }, []);
+import type { PublicMonitoringSettings } from "@/lib/monitoring-settings";
 
+/**
+ * Mounts the operator's analytics script and error reporter. The root layout
+ * reads the instance-wide switches on the server and passes them in, so no
+ * page load asks `/api/monitoring/settings` for three values the document
+ * render already had. `null` (the key-mismatch page) mounts nothing.
+ */
+export function MonitoringBootstrap({
+  settings,
+}: {
+  settings: Pick<
+    PublicMonitoringSettings,
+    "umamiEnabled" | "umamiWebsiteId" | "glitchtipEnabled"
+  > | null;
+}) {
   if (!settings) return null;
 
   return (