perf(insights,api): always answer instantly and regenerate in the background

The insights read path served a cold cache by generating inline — up to
ten seconds on first visit — and the nightly warm pass structurally
excluded evening visitors: their visit stamped the cache, the half-four
run skipped it as fresh, and it expired exactly at the next evening's
visit. Stale content now serves immediately with its timestamp while
one background job revalidates, the warm threshold drops to an hour,
forced warming fills both message locales, the analytics caches serve
stale-while-revalidate, the profile endpoint parallelises its reads,
the bug-report status drops a write per call, the umami proxy degrades
to a no-op script instead of an error, the insights route sheds its
heaviest static imports, and the medication page prefetches on intent.

src/app/api/auth/me/route.ts

@@ -12,22 +12,22 @@ export const dynamic = "force-dynamic";
 export const GET = apiHandler(async () => {
   const { user } = await requireAuth();
 
-  // v1.4.22 W5 reconcile (Sr-H1) — fall-back resync for legacy
-  // sessions that predate the cookie. New sessions anchor the cookie
-  // inside `createSession` itself, so this is no longer the primary
-  // write path; it just makes sure pre-v1.4.22 sessions get their
-  // cookie set on the first /me roundtrip after the upgrade.
-  await setOnboardingPendingCookie(user.onboardingCompletedAt == null);
-
   annotate({ action: { name: "auth.me" } });
 
-  // v1.15.0 — resolved cycle-tracking gate. Read the profile without
-  // forcing a row (a NULL toggle derives from gender); the resolver
-  // collapses both gates into the single boolean iOS hides the tab on.
-  const cycleProfile = await prisma.cycleProfile.findUnique({
-    where: { userId: user.id },
-    select: { cycleTrackingEnabled: true },
-  });
+  // Two independent awaits, overlapped: the onboarding-cookie resync
+  // (v1.4.22 W5 Sr-H1 — fall-back for legacy sessions that predate the
+  // cookie; new sessions anchor it inside `createSession`) touches only
+  // the cookie store, while the cycle-profile read (v1.15.0 — resolved
+  // cycle-tracking gate; no row is forced, a NULL toggle derives from
+  // gender) is a Postgres round-trip. Running them sequentially added
+  // the cookie hop to every /me — and /me sits on every app boot path.
+  const [, cycleProfile] = await Promise.all([
+    setOnboardingPendingCookie(user.onboardingCompletedAt == null),
+    prisma.cycleProfile.findUnique({
+      where: { userId: user.id },
+      select: { cycleTrackingEnabled: true },
+    }),
+  ]);
   const cycleTrackingEnabled = isCycleEnabled(user.gender, cycleProfile);
 
   // v1.7.0 — patient-identity fields for the health-record export. The